Offsides

Some fucking yank sitting next to us kept pluralising the word offside to offsides, which didn't help the situation. Now, as England disappoints once again, and Badiel and Skinner's famous 'We're going home' song runs around my head, seems as good a time as any to write about the sporting situation out here.

Firstly, there is the concept of 'the sports fan'. Something which is pretty non-existent in the UK, a sports fan will happily watch any competitive action on TV and get damn excited about it. They'll know statistics from Baseball, Basketball, American Football and then a roster of other secondary options. With the world cup on, these sports fans have come out in force, dealing out massively uniformed commentaries on games, pluralising words, and generally being dicks. There are people who are into sport in England, but normally they choose two or three and stick to those.

Then there is the American sports themselves. The worst, by some distance, is baseball. Imagine cricket, but with no decisions on where to place fielders, no wickets, and no bowling. Pretty damn shit, and moreover endlessly long - games take 4 hours regularly. Then there is basketball, which to be honest I haven't watched much of and seems pretty exciting. The big one is football. After watching a few games, especially the superbowl, my opinion has shifted from complete contempt to mild acceptance a s a good thing to have going on whilst you drink. There's a lot more going on than meets the eye, and the stop start of it can actually make for some really explosive moments. It is also interminably long though, another 4 hour extravaganza, that despite the fact that the actual play time is only 1 hour.

I watched one football game live, a university game between Cal (which is what one calls Berkeley) and Maryland. We screamed and shouted for about 90 minutes, but come half time we were ready to go, the main problem being that as it was a university team stadium, there was no booze on sale. The phenomenon of university sports in America was far more interesting than the game itself. On the day of a game, thousands upon thousands of Berkeley alumni will come into town. All the frats make money by selling parking spaces and cold drinks. The majority of the undergraduate population gets dressed up and painted blue and gold. The frats start their pre-parties at about midday, and everyone gets fucking wasted before heading up to the stadium to see the marching band before kick off. The numbers are mind blowing - 60,000 people for a sell out game. 60,000!!! The biggest university game of the year in the UK would attract that many if it was lucky, and this is just one university in one town and it sells out regularly. If Cal win the whole town ignites into partying, and things will go on for as long as it takes the police to shut it all down. Its great.

People fucking love their university teams, and the university teams are in fact the way that most people become professionals, getting selected to join the AFL on the basis of their university performances. The phenominon is not unique to baseball, and all the major sports have massive fan followings. It all seems a bit ridiculous, but when your involved and spirits are high, it doesn't feel ridiculous.

Keep on Truckin' England, here's to 2014.

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