for I have sinned

I have a confession to make:

I am a breast starer . . .

A tit gazer . . .

A lump leerer . . .

It's not by choice - in fact it is somewhat surprising given that in the great divide I stand on the ass side. It must be some deep rooted, unconscious thing. A hidden love for those fleshy mounds. I will be sitting somehwere, my mind wandering, when all of a sudden I realise that my unattending eyes have drifted across to some poor girls chest. My attention floods back into the room and I take an upwards glance to see whether I've been clocked. More or less inevitably I have been clocked, and it is only at this point that I realise that my facial expression has not yet caught up with my current alert state, so I am still gawping like an idiot with a slight grin playing across my face - the face of someone who's mind is elsewhere, or the face of a grinning pervert. My expression would have been thus for the whole time I was staring, and I don't even know how long I've been staring for.

Suffice to say, the whole thing is very embarrassing. The situation is compounded by the fact that despite many attempts to stop doing it, I consistently look down when talking to people. This is innocent enough but easily misinterpreted... Perhaps the looking down is part of my subconscious's plan to gather up all possible visual information relating to women's frontal appendages.

Sometimes, it just doesn't feel like we've moved on very far from this dude . Well, they say that acceptance is the first stage in recovery, so maybe I can know move forward with this. Hopefully I won't just transfer the staring to something else. Bad options that could be worse than the current one include male groins, or people's wallets and purses.

Keep on truckin' people.

x

Burns Night!

Something about living with a Scottish guy and hanging out excessively with yet another Scot has got to me. I'm infused with Burns night fever. We spent yesterday putting on kilts, watching Braveheart, and listening to this song on repeat about a billion times. It has gone right on up to number 2 in all time best songs to sing with friends (after Don't Stop Believing of course). Listen to it. Lots.

I don't know if you can see
The changes that have come over me.
In these last few days I've been afraid
That I might drift away.
I've been telling old stories, singing songs
That make me think about where I've come from.
That's the reason why I seem
So far away today.

x